


Butch and Sundance

by whileyemay



Category: Veep (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-01-08 18:22:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12259641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whileyemay/pseuds/whileyemay
Summary: Post-season 6 baby momma drama.  Dan and Amy try to make it work.  Multiple characters are involved, but this is ultimately a Dan x Amy story. Flashback to pre-show relationship included in the story.





	1. Madison Monroe Dinner-Council Bluffs, Iowa

**Author's Note:**

> Wholehearted thank you going out to the wonderful jenniferandbradley for the beta!

Dan and Amy unintentionally make eye contact all night, always from across the crowded room. Amy thinks it’s poetically fitting that they can be so close yet so far from each other even when they’re in the same place. Dan’s working the room as only he can, using his devastatingly good looks to weasel his way into the pocketbooks of rich women. She knows this is how he always operates, but for some reason tonight it’s pissing her off more than usual. She watches as a stunning woman leans up to whisper in his ear and he fakes a laugh as he places a hand on her hip. Fuck this asshole. She can’t fucking believe she’s having his baby. She must be out of her goddamn mind to think this might work. 

At the end of the night, Amy is standing outside trying to get some fresh air to calm her queasy stomach, when Dan sidles up to her. 

"So we should probably talk about it, right?"

"No. We're not talking about anything. I'm keeping IT and I expect nothing from you," she says, without looking up from her phone. 

"Yeah, I figured you'd already made a decision or you wouldn't have told me."

"You're not wrong."

"Then should we talk about us...that night?"

"Dan, there is no 'us'. There hasn't been an 'us' in more than a decade, and even then, we were only really an 'us' in my own stupid fucking head." 

"That's not fair," Dan says, looking away from her. 

"Fuck you!" She screams, and suddenly she's pointing in his face in a blind rage, "You want to know what isn't fair? It wasn't fair that I had no one to call when I found out. It wasn't fair that I had no one to go with me to the doctor. It wasn't fucking fair that I had to make the decision by myself because the deadbeat father is a womanizing prick who would press for an abortion just to keep his weekends free to bang coeds." 

Tears are slowly falling from her eyes now so he moves to rub her arm.

"Ames," he just says her name because he doesn't know what else to say.

"Don't fucking touch me!" She yells, as she jumps back from his hand. 

"Jesus, those pregnancy hormones are really doing a number on you, huh?"

"It isn't the fucking hormones you unspeakable asshole— it's you. It's always you. You are at the root of everything that has gone wrong in my life since the moment we met. I wanted you to be something else, something more, and you're just not capable."

Dan is yelling now, "Funny how none of this came up when we were fucking each other's brains out!" 

Amy takes a deep breath to steel herself, "One sexfest doesn't change the fact that you are a scumbag. If you never speak to me again it will be too fucking soon. You know what, new rule; you are only allowed to speak to me about the job. I don’t want to hear about your sexcapades, I am not your fucking friend, I am not your fucking girlfriend, and I owe you N-O-T-H-I-N-G!" She says that last word like a growl, and Dan's kind of afraid of her at this point. 

He lowers his head and shakes it in defeat as he walks away without a word. The team is streaming out of the building now, so he opens the door to one of the SUVs and motions for her to get in. Amy crawls into the back seat with Kent, who is already in the car with what looks like a mobile office setup on his lap, and Dan hops in last. Amy is squashed in the middle of the two men and she’s trying with all her might to keep all parts of her body from touching Dan. 

“What’s wrong with your eyes, Amy?” Kent asks.

“Allergies,” Amy replies.

“Unlikely. It’s the wrong time of year for airborne pollen in Iowa,” Kent informs.

“Drop it, Kent,” Dan says, without looking up from his phone. 

Out of the corner of his eye Dan notices Leon West, deliberately turned around from his passenger side front seat, staring at Amy. He recognizes the calculating look on his face from his own evil repertoire. He doesn’t like it.


	2. Feeling Tour (Campaign) Headquarters- Washington, D.C.

A few weeks after the Madison Monroe Dinner, Selina’s “Feeling Tour” i.e. the campaign, is in full swing, and Dan watches helplessly as Amy repeatedly overexerts herself. She's lifting boxes and moving furniture and screaming obscenities in the faces of the incompetent. None of this can be good for her, let alone the baby. She still won't talk to him, and he's following the gag order she demanded, but he feels obligated to help. He thinks if everyone knew the deal they'd help him police her activities, maybe take some of the major stressors off her plate. He decides to throw himself at the mercy of Selina and hope for the best.

"Ma'am I have an important matter I'd like to discuss with you...alone, preferably," Dan says, while side-eying a dirty look in Gary's direction. 

"Oh boy, what did you bozos fuck up now?" Selina asks without looking up from the mirror she's using to touch-up her lipstick. Selina instructs Gary to get lost with one tilt of her head and Dan mock-waves at him as he exists sulking. 

"Ma'am, Amy and I... Amy is… we are… I thought you should know… for her sake..." Dan has no earthly idea how to start or finish his sentence. 

"What's happening? Do you have tourette’s? Jesus Christ, Dan, you're my communications specialist for fucksake!"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am."

"Don't be sorry, spit it the fuck out, so I can move on with my day."

"Amy is pregnant. It's mine," Dan says as fast as his lips will move.

Dan can see the information process through Selina's brain from the look on her face which rapidly moves from mild distaste into a confirming head nod.

"It was bound to happen, I guess."

"Ma'am?"

"You and Amy—not the baby; frankly I assumed her ovaries had given up by this point." 

"Yeah, same," Dan admits.

Selina gets a distant look in her eyes, “Amy, ever tell you about me and Tom James?"

"You and Tom? No, Ma'am," Dan furrows his brow in confusion. 

"Yeah, well, there's always been something between us; love, hate, I don't fucking know, and you want to know why I'll never fucking know?"

"Why, Ma'am?"

"Because he's a giant pussy— I'm talking big, hairy, gaping pussy. You understand what I'm saying to you, Dan?"

"I think so, Ma'am."

"If you want Amy, act like a grown-ass man and stop fucking everything that moves. She needs you now. Childbirth is some fucking harrowing shit and she shouldn't have to face it alone. Not if you really want to be with her anyway."

"I understand, Ma'am."

"Is that it?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good. Now get the fuck out of my office."

"Yes, Ma'am," Dan says, as he turns to leave.

"Oh, and Dan," Selina calls after him.

"Ma'am?"

"If any of this relationship shit impacts my campaign, I'll fire you AND Amy, just for spite," Selina says with a firm, finalizing nod of her head.

Dan gulps, "Yes, Ma'am."

As he closes Selina’s office door behind him, Dan looks around the massive warehouse they’ve converted into a campaign headquarters. They decided the headquarters should be closely located to BKD’s office on K Street. Well, Dan pushed for a D.C. homebase, secretly hoping Amy would take advantage of the proximity to her family. Yeah, they’re kind of assholes, but he didn’t want her to be alone in a random city if something were to happen. To his delight (and pity), she decided to move back in with her parents until she could find a suitable place. 

Dan spots Amy and Leon in yet another suspiciously close conversation. Their newfound friendship is really starting to piss him off. He isn’t even trying to hide his death-stares anymore. If she doesn’t like it, then maybe she shouldn’t shit where she eats. Not that he feels threatened by Leon, the man is a walking pocket protector, but he doesn’t like anyone capitalizing on Amy’s space. He’s the one she used to strategize with—they are supposed to be the dynamic duo in the office. 

More than that, Dan knows Leon, they actually go way back. Dan interned at the Washington Post as a college senior and Leon’s elderly ass was there way back then. What’s concerning is that Dan recognizes that Leon is not dissimilar from Amy. Leon has morals and ethics and standards, and sure, he'd obviously sell them for a good paycheck, but they're there nonetheless. What’s more, Amy is exactly Leon’s type—smart, blonde, with a great rack. Nothing good can come of Leon’s presence on the team, he’s sure of it. 

Amy gives him the finger from across the room, breaking his ominous glare. 

 

Somehow everyone on Selina’s team knows Amy is pregnant with Dan’s baby. She has no idea how they know, she sure as shit didn’t tell them, but one by one each of them expresses their unsolicited opinions:

Kent, finding her in the breakroom, is the first to offer up his usual stoic wisdom, seemingly out of the blue:

“Single mothers don't usually poll well, but I think your face is pleasing enough to avoid a statically significant hit.”

"Thank you… I think."

Ben, looking more than uncomfortable when she walks into the briefing before the rest of the team, wallows in the awkward silence until finally stating: "Mazel Tov. Parenthood is a gift, so I'm told." He never brings it up again.

After the meeting, she realizes she has a text from Mike:

Mike: Did you fuck Dan?

Amy: "Hello. How are you?” This is how you greet people in a polite society, btw. 

Mike: OMG, you did! You're really going to have his baby?

Amy: How is this any of your business? 

Mike: I'd like to get the underground bunker ready if the antichrist is on the way. 

She doesn’t bother to text him back. 

Gary is by far the one who is most genuinely excited about the baby. He, Selina and Amy are waiting outside an event hall when he broaches the topic that is apparently spreading through the office like wildfire:

“Amy, I just heard about the baby!” He updates with a sincere smile. 

“It’s Dan’s,” Selina whispers to him out of the corner of her mouth.

"Nuh-uh!" Gary whispers back.

"Yuh-uh!" Selina confirms. 

“Uh-oh,” Gary says with wide-eyes to Amy’s face instead of Selina’s, like he got confused with the two-sided conversation.

“Thanks, Gary,” Amy retorts before returning to her cell phone. 

Selina had yet to address the elephant in the room, but the interaction with Gary before the event told Amy that her boss knew the situation, too. She spent the entire event attempting to figure out where a pregnant woman could get hired in a town as anti-woman as DC. In the car, after the event, Selina finally comes forward:

“Is it true? Did Dan knock you up?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Amy says as she braces herself to be fired. 

“Should have put it in the backdoor, if you know what I mean.”

“I do, ma’am.” 

“God, this kid’s going to be a beautiful, sociopathic nightmare.”

“Probably, ma’am.”

“If this impacts your job in any way, you’re both fired.”

“Of course, ma’am.”

That seems to be the extent of her interest in the topic and Amy breathes a sigh of relief. As long as she and Dan can keep their personal lives out of the office, Selina won’t fire either of them. Amy doesn’t think that will be too difficult on her end, given she’s been suppressing all her emotions surrounding his existence for years now, but Dan has started acting strange lately. He hasn’t brought up the baby again, indicating he can respect her wishes, but lately she’s been catching him staring at her more and more. He doesn’t like her around Leon, that much she can tell, but he always had a propensity for unwarranted jealousy. 

When they get back to the office, Leon approaches her first:

"Congratulations. Do I hear wedding bells?"

"Not unless you're suffering from tinnitus."

Leon chuckles and drops the subject. Amy thinks Dan might not be wrong to suspect something is up with Leon. He has been surprisingly nice to her since he joined the team. Amy realizes that he probably wants something and as soon as she figures out what it is she can make sure he doesn’t get it. 

Dan is staring at her from across the office for the millionth time this week and she doesn’t have the energy to flip him off again. She wants to run up to him and ask how the whole office knows their business, and she wants to tell him about her day, and she wants to kick him in the balls. How did everything get so messed up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks going out to jenniferandbradley for her hard beta work!


	3. Cleveland, Ohio- 2003

The winter after Amy graduated from Denison College, unable to find a full-time job and unwilling to return to her parent’s house in Virginia, she started her second unpaid internship in the Cleveland campaign office of Ohio Senator, Kimberly Zurz. In the fall of 2003, Senator Leigh Herington declared his decision to resign early from the Ohio Senate, and the Democratic caucus named Zurz as his replacement. Zurz needed to win the election in 2004 if she wanted to keep the seat.

Dan was the young star on the rise of the office. All the male interns wanted to be him, all the female interns wanted to fuck him. Except for Amy, of course. She was singularly focused on her career and assumed romance was a waste of time. 

She took one look at him and decided he was obviously way too good looking to be trusted. Her lack of interest did not go unnoticed by Dan who found it distressing when women didn't automatically swoon in his presence. He tried to get info on her from the other interns, but it turned out she wasn't interested in getting to know anyone. "She's a climber," they would say, as if that explained her solitary preference. At the end of the day, she'd prefer to be their boss and not their friend. 

Dan's first attempt to talk to her went horribly awry. He asked her what her name was and she chastised him for not knowing after working with her for two months. 

"I make contact with a lot of interns," he'd argued in defense of himself. 

"Yeah, I bet," she had replied, without looking up from the copier. 

Dan walked away from the interaction with a furrowed brow and an interesting knot in his stomach. He spent the next couple of weeks wondering what the deal was with the tiny, angry blonde girl.

Adding insult to injury, every time she opened her mouth he could tell she was brilliant, maybe lightyears ahead of the other interns, and of course her boss, the intern coordinator, was under-utilizing her talent, which wasn't surprising considering he probably couldn't find his way out of a paper bag. 

Dan had finally concocted a plan to crack her icy shell. He invited all the interns to see him sing at open mic night at one of the local bars, and made sure to stress that the place was a networking orgy for the politically inclined. 

He wasn’t sure his plan would work, in fact, he believed it would fail miserably, so when he saw her standing at the bar an involuntary and unexpected smile spread across his face. 

"Glad you could make it," he'd said, sidled up to her. 

"Well, I thought I could make some connections," she’d responded truthfully. 

Dan chuckled to himself, "You know, since the night's a networking bust, maybe you can let loose a little. Let me buy you a drink." 

"I can buy my own drinks, thank you."

"You're an intern, I know you work for free. Come on, I feel bad about not remembering your name before. Let me make it up to you."

"Fine. I'm drinking tequila."

"Atta girl!" He’d yelled, as he snapped his fingers to the bartender. 

"So how many more talentless bozos am I going to be forced to endure before you go on?" 

"Ouch. You judge the competition severely."

"I've heard you strumming along in the office, late at night, when you think no one is listening," Amy’d confessed. 

"And?"

"I think under all of this pomp and circumstance," she’d said, pointing at his perfectly tailored suit, "you fancy yourself an artist." Her tone indicated that the very idea was absurd. 

"And why is that so terrible?" he’d asked, with an entertained smirk. 

"Well, it isn't… for an average person. But you don't want to be average. You want to be better, the best, which means you think sharing all of your feelings and fears with the world is weak."

"Sounds like you've spent a lot of time thinking about me," Dan taunted her.

"Don't get too hard, I size up everyone." 

"I'm getting that," he’d said with a smile. 

They were interrupted by the DJ's announcement: 

"Next up, regular, Dan Egan, will be charming the crowd with an oldie, but a goodie. Get up here, Dan!"

Dan downed his drink, gave her a wink, and headed for the stage. 

"This one's going out to all the sassy blonde vixens who call you on your shit."

He’d played an acoustic version of The Rolling Stones’ Beast of Burden and made it a point to stare at Amy as often as possible. She realized instantly that this goddamn fucker was good at his game. She knew that was all it was to him, but she was getting butterflies in her stupid stomach anyway. 

After a few more drinks, Dan offered to drive Amy home and she accepted, despite her better judgment. 

When they pulled up to the apartment she shared with two other interns, she didn’t invite him to come in. She didn't want to be a woman who sleeps her way to the top. If she was going to rise, it would be because she fucking earned it. 

Dan seemed to understand this about her and so he didn’t ask to come in. They continued their bar conversation in his car and she quickly found herself mesmerized by all the tiny freckles on his face and how passionately animated he would get when he talked about politics. 

Without warning, Amy had leaned over and kissed him on the lips. That seemed to be the only hint he needed to grab her head, practically pulling her into his lap, never breaking the kiss. His greedy mouth felt like it might devour her whole. She could taste the alcohol he was drinking earlier and when they broke for air she felt like she was spinning out of control. 

"Fuck," was all Amy could manage to say.

"You wanna?"Dan asked with a dopey smile. 

"Here?"

"Yeah," he’d said, like 'of course'.

"I barely know you, Dan."

"I thought you'd been sizing me up for months," he’d said, dragging a thumb along her jaw, "What more is there to know?"

She’d sat back in her seat to contemplate his point, "Well, for one, how many other interns have you fucked? Nope," she’d said, mostly talking to herself, "I don't actually want to know the answer to that one. Why do you want to fuck me? Nope, don't want to know that one either. Fuck! I've had too much to drink. I'm going in now."

Before Dan had a chance to respond, Amy had leaped from the car and was charging into her apartment. Dan had sat in his car for a while trying to figure out what the living fuck just happened. 

The Monday they returned to work Amy acted like nothing even happened between them. Which, okay, maybe it didn't, but Dan had never had any woman run from him and then pretend they've never met. If anything, that's his move. He’d spent a sizable amount of that day trying to figure out what the actual fuck was going on with her.

Just as everyone was about to leave for the evening, Zurz’s senior aid informed the team that a fundraiser event went horribly wrong when she refused to kiss a baby, her look of disgust captured for every television screen in Ohio. 

Dan immediately went into crisis mode developing his media response. Amy brilliantly suggested they get a respected doctor to say she has a head cold and didn't want to pass it on to an innocent child. The look of disgust was just a pre-sneeze shown out of context. They’d spent the night passing ideas and storylines back and forth until dawn. The response was a success and by 8am they actually had a boost in the polls. 

"That was some good work tonight, Brookheimer," Dan said, as he held the door for her, "What would you say to me buying you some breakfast?"

Amy looked up at him with questioning eyes that rapidly turned into a smile, "yeah, okay," she’d responded, letting him lead the way to the diner down the street. 

Looking at her from over the top of his menu, Dan joked, "You know, I don't usually buy breakfast for women who haven't fucked me first, that makes you special, pumpkin."

"Alas! My prince charming has arrived!" 

"No, I'm no prince charming, but I think you like me the way I am, maybe even prefer it. I think you like me so much you want to see me naked," he’d said with bouncing eyebrows, "You see, Amy, you're not the only one who has spent some time analyzing the office staff."

"Is that right?"

"Yep."

"And in this investigation you've determined that I'm hot for Egan, is that correct?"

"Well, yes and no. I think you're hot for your career, I think you tolerate me because I'm competent and ruthless, the two things you long to be in order to advance said career."

"Astute. However, I'm not sure how you make the leap from me appreciating your methods to me hoping you'll bend me over the nearest table?"

"Well, as I'm sure you've noticed by the way I see you staring at my lips, I'm pretty easy on the eyes."

Amy makes a gagging gesture.

"Well, gag all you want, Ames, but you know I'm right. You want to do me---in every sense of the words."

"I'm seriously surprised you have yet to drown in a body of water after attempting to see your own reflection."

Dan snickered as the waitress approached to take their order. To his surprise, Amy ordered pancakes with chocolate chips, and he followed suit, ordering the same, and feeling delighted to know her breakfast order if nothing else. They played footsie under the table and made googly eyes at each other as they ate breakfast and strategized about the campaign. If felt familiar in a way neither of them had ever experienced with another person. 

After breakfast, Dan walked Amy home, playfully flicking her ponytail when they both leaned just a little too closely as they strolled. When they got to Amy's door they both stalled for time. 

"So, my roommates probably went into work hours ago, would-you-like-to-come-in?" She’d said the last part like it was poison on her tongue and she wanted to get it out as quickly as possible. 

"Hell yes, yes," Dan said, nodding frantically with a smile that took up his whole face.

Amy smiled back up at him and unlocked her front door. They barely made it in the door before Dan's mood shifted to intense and serious as he stared down at her with dark, heavy-lidded eyes. Without another word between them, they’d become a blurry mess of lips and hands and shedding shirts. 

Dan didn’t even bother asking about a bedroom; he’d simply backed her up to the living room sofa. Amy reached a hand down his pants to stroke him and her eyes went wide.

"Jesus Christ, of course you'd have a dick the size of your ego."

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle," he’d said, with an evil smirk. 

"No way I'm leaving that up to you," she’d replied, as she pushed him onto the sofa and climbed into his lap. 

"Even better," he responded as he slid his hands up her skirt to grab her ass.

They frantically made out, Amy bouncing in his lap, while Dan tried to run his fingers through her bound hair. 

“This has to go,” he’d said, as he pulled at her ponytail holder. Unfortunately, he had been a bit overzealous in his attempt to free her hair and Amy screamed out in pain. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry!” He yelled, stroking her scalp where her hair had been pulled. 

“You said you’d be gentle,” she’d teased.   
They both laughed and Dan softly pulled her in to kiss her forehead. They slowed to a delicate pace, kissing each other like they had time to discover every avenue of delight. 

Dan finally interrupted to ask her to hop up so he could retrieve the condom from the wallet in his back pocket.

Amy jumped up and started removing her remaining clothes as Dan retrieved and put on the condom. 

Dan bit down on his lower lip as he stared at Amy standing naked in front of him. Amy's heart raced as she walked to him and climbed back into his lap.

She moved slowly, at first, adjusting to the way he filled her, and he didn’t make any moves to rush things. When she was comfortably rocking on him she buried her head in his neck and breathed in his woodsy smell, relishing the feeling of his hands sliding up and down her back. 

Daylight was streaming into the living room and she'd never felt more exposed during sex. She was nervous on so many unnecessary levels; primarily she was nervous he'd notice that she was nervous. She wanted to seem cool and collected and she wanted to be good at this, not necessarily for him, more for herself. To prove to herself that she could bring a man like Dan to his knees. 

She was also exhausted from being up all night and the tiredness gave her that weird high that comes with lack of sleep. She used her fever-induced bravery to tilt his chin toward her face and look him in the eyes. She certainly didn't expect to see fear there, but sure enough, Dan was the one who betrayed his stoic veneer. 

He refused to let her eyes meet his for any extended amount of time, and he was visibly uncomfortable with the intimacy she was requesting of him. He did everything he could to redirect her attention to physical pleasure; dramatically licking the sweat that was pooling between her breasts, burying his head in her chest to busy himself with her nipples.

Years later she would realize how telling this exchange was, but in the moment, she sort of wanted to comfort him. She would later realize how sad it was that her first instinct was to console him when he wouldn’t (couldn't?) give her the connection she desired. The whole thing felt confusing, they matched each other's movements, perfectly in sync, a strange scenario for two people having emotionless sex. 

His hips were bucking into her and she could feel the pressure building between her legs. She came first, moaning into his mouth, and digging her nails into the hairline around his neck. A few more thrusts and he followed, grunting in a way that made Amy feel proud. 

They’d slid down on the sofa after and as they both stared at the ceiling, Dan absentmindedly stroked Amy's hair as she laid tucked under his arm. 

Without prompting, Dan answered the questions Amy didn't really want answered, "No, I haven't fucked any of the other interns. The most I'd get out of any of them would be an orgasm and that's hardly worth the effort. I wanted to fuck you because you're a knock-out, and I'm pretty sure you're gonna run the world someday. I'm hoping you'll find me useful in your inevitable rise to power. I would make a decent sex slave." He’d squeezed her into his side in jest.

"If you're looking for a secretary of sex position, then you'll have to get better at it," Amy’d teased, smiling up at him. 

Dan laughed out loud and tickled her side, "practice makes perfect," he’d said with a wink.

They drifted in and out of sleep until late afternoon when they parted ways to avoid her roommates inquiring eyes. Amy walked Dan to the door and neither of them made any demands or commitments. In a rare gesture of affection, he kissed the top of her head as he left, and Amy spent the night thinking about the single dark freckle on his bottom lip.

The next day Amy made it a point to maintain a professional distance from Dan while at work. He’d winked at her when she voiced a great campaign idea during a staff meeting and she pretended not to notice. 

When her parents showed up unexpectedly that day to take her to lunch, Dan showed them around the office, charming her mother with flattery and impressing her dad with stories about his daughter's brilliant campaign strategies. 

Her parents stayed in town for a few days and she was too consumed with entertaining them to think too much about her encounter with Dan. Well, that wasn’t entirely true; she spent every minute of that week actively attempting to block him out. 

Her parents finally left town on Friday morning and Friday night the entire office was working on-site at the Cleveland Convention Center for a Congressional Ball. Networking was the name of the game that night, so Amy strategically dressed to get some attention with a long, silk, A-line gown in cobalt blue. 

She knew she made the right call on the dress when Dan's eyes went wide and his jaw went slack at the first sight of her.

"Wow," was all he’d said when he greeted her at the door of the Convention Center. 

"Right back at ya," she’d responded while admiring his tuxedo. 

Just then, a tall, thin, brunette, grabbed his arm and called him "love" and Amy's mind started to spin out of control. The woman was obviously his date, probably his girlfriend, maybe even more than that, and Amy thought she might throw up. 

She knew it was a mistake to fall for him, but it wasn’t until that moment that she had definitive proof that her instincts were right. She excused herself before introductions were made, she honestly didn’t want to know who the woman was, and entered the party to do her job. 

She was fucking good at her job, even when her heart was torn to pieces. Sure, creepy Congressmen were all over her, but she was still making connections and securing support for her candidate. And she was definitely was not paying attention to Dan or his beautiful future wife. 

The night dragged on, so Amy found a small, secluded, bathroom down one of the hotel's corridors in which to gather her thoughts. She was touching up her makeup in the bathroom mirror when Dan rushed in and locked the door behind himself. 

Amy gave him a questioning face, "Are you lost, asshole?" 

"Just avoiding Congressman Furlong. That guy is a prick and a half. I saw you come in here."

"And you decided to follow me into the women's bathroom?"

Dan had made a face that indicated he could tell she was beyond pissed, but he also knew how she felt about him. 

He’d walked up behind her, lightly placing a hand on her silk-covered hip, as he whispered in her ear, "Why all the animosity? Did I do something wrong, sweetie?"

Amy felt his hot breath on the back of her neck and closed her eyes to regain her composure before she spoke, "No animosity here. No real feelings at all, actually," she’d lied.

Dan made a disapproving clicking sound with his tongue, "Now, now, Ames, we both know that isn’t true."

Her eyes had narrowed in anger, "Fuck you, Dan," she’d said to his reflection as she moved to leave.

His grip tightened on her hip and he leaned over her shoulder to kiss her. He’d whispered, "Don't go yet," into her lips, and then kissed her slowly with all the passion of their previous encounter. She felt her stomach drop as she gave into him. 

He leaned against her so she was crushed between his body and the counter and she could feel him hard against her back.

He used both hands to slide her silky dress up her thighs and pulled her panties down just far enough to get to her. She watched him in the mirror as he licked his fingers before slipping them between her legs. 

He teased her with his fingers and she closed her eyes and bit down on her lower lip. After a minute, she heard him unzip his pants and she felt him slowly enter her from behind with a groan. 

He wasn’t wearing a condom and in her weird emotional state she thought she deserved whatever headache would come with that terrible decision. 

It was raw and hectic at first, both of them pushing and pulling for control of the motion, and she thought it was the perfect way to fuck the stranger that he is to her. 

Except at some point he slowed to a stop and brought her into a hug against his chest. They stood like that for a minute, his body intimately connected to hers, while he hugged her and buried his head in her hair.

When he looked up, he grabbed her face gently to encourage her to focus on their reflection, making it a point to meet her eyes in the mirror. 

They didn’t say a word. 

She’d started to whimper as she tightened around him so he moved his hand to help rub her over the edge. He followed soon after her and she felt the warm rush of him releasing inside of her.

She felt lightheaded when he pulled out and without a word she went into one of the bathroom stalls to clean up. She'd hoped he'd just leave, but he was still there, straightening his bow tie when she finally came out of the stall.

"She doesn't mean anything to me," he’d said into the mirror, breaking the silence that had fallen between them, "she's politically connected and she got me a job with the state. I'm leaving the campaign." 

Amy's face was blank as she processed what he told her, "Ah, well, goodbye forever then. I hope you die screaming," she'd responded, attempting to sound light and jocular, but the quiver in her voice betrayed her. She grabbed her things and nearly ran out the door. 

"Oh yeah, no real feelings here!" She heard him shouting after her. 

That was the last time she saw him until the year Selina became Veep.

Looking back now, Amy realizes the moment they shared in the mirror was ironically the beginning and the end for them. Dan had revealed himself and presumably hated every second of it and Amy had seen something real and warm in him and, despite everything, she loved it. 

She suspects no woman before or since ever truly saw Dan the way she did in that moment and she concedes that's probably for the best.

She has always secretly acknowledged that the way she feels about Dan is her only crippling weakness and she wouldn't wish that kind of torment on anyone. 

She firmly believes Dan experiences a similar torture when he acknowledges his own vulnerability, so it's a lose-lose situation any way you look at it.

Granted, the night they shared in New York a few months ago was different; there were moments when he seemed like he truly wanted to connect with her. Still, she knows him too well to equate drunken vulnerability with legitimate emotion. 

With their past in mind, Amy decides it's best for them to maintain their distance for the foreseeable future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, much love to jenniferandbradley for the beta.


	4. Campaign hell- Washington, D.C. and Beyond

With Selina’s (Catherine’s) personal money running dry, the team is forced to call a spade a spade and declare the campaign a campaign, thus beginning the long, arduous fundraising fight for the fourth time.  
Amy finds pregnancy to be as annoying as she assumed it would be. The nausea tends to hit at exactly the wrong moments, every limb on her body is swollen, and not only do people think it's okay to grab and comment on the size of her stomach, but they've also started doing the same to her tits. 

Those things, while incredibly inconvenient, are not nearly as bad as her rampaging libido. Of course, the great Dan Egan would be the star of every wet dream and fantasy daydream she can conjure. She has some theories as to why he's suddenly so irresistible to her. 

For one, and she would never say this to his face, she knows he's dynamite in bed. Which isn't really surprising considering he fucks for sport. To his credit, his recreational fucking has definitely taught him a thing or two and it's fair to assume their most recent tryst fueled a fire she'd worked hard to extinguish. 

Another theory revolves around the baby. She wonders if having his blood pumping inside of her could cause the craving. She thinks maybe it's evolutionary biology trying to ensure she keeps him close. In any event, Amy is consumed by an unfortunately directed lust. 

One day she is whispering something in his ear and accidentally gets a whiff of his cologne. It sends shock waves through her body that cause her to draw a long breath, close her eyes, and bite down on her lower lip. He watches the whole thing play out on her face and he seems to know what happened based on his reactionary smirk.

To her dismay, she realizes that he doesn’t even need to be in smelling distance for her to lose herself in fantasy. One evening, when they're alone in the office, she loses 30 minutes on a daydream involving her bent over a desk at his command. During a very unsexy campaign meeting, she finds herself lost in a fantasy featuring his hand up her skirt and when she emerges from her daydream, she finds him staring back at her with his trademark sex eyes.   
She wonders if he can sense something is up. Maybe he knows she wants him more than ever now. That every fiber of her being, her very blood, is screaming out for him. Granted, he didn’t seem to notice before, but she worries now that her mask is slipping.   
The travel aspect of the job is now much worse. Putting aside the fact that she can barely sleep in a bed that isn’t her own, being near him when he picks up women and takes them back to their hotel is becoming unbearable. 

One night she arrives at a hotel later than the rest of the team and sees him sucking the face of some random blonde supermodel in an elevator. He catches her eye as the doors start to close and tries to hold the elevator for her, but she runs for the stairs instead of dealing with his nonsense. It takes her 20 minutes to walk up 5 flights of stairs with her suitcase, stopping at every landing to catch her breath. When she opens the stairwell door at her floor, Dan is waiting for her. 

"Miss me, snookums?" He asks, grabbing her suitcase and following right in line behind her as she stalks toward her room. 

"What happened to your bimbo?"

"She's in my room. I told her I was getting ice. I wanted to make sure you got up the stairs. By the way, the lengths you will go to in order to avoid me are nothing short of impressive."

Amy rolls her eyes, "I'm not avoiding you. Either way, I'm none of your concern,” she says trying to sound forceful. 

"Of course not, I just knocked you up."

Amy releases a melodramatic sigh, "please, just go get the anxiety fucked out of you so we can hit the ground running tomorrow."

"You know," he says, with an elevated eyebrow, “I can always drop the bimbo and practice some stress relief with you instead."

"How romantic. As much as I'd love to be your second-choice fuck, I have some work to do. Good night, Dan."

Amy grabs her suitcase back from him and uses the key card to open her door. Dan rolls his eyes and starts the trek back to his own room. 

Before she disappears into her room, Dan turns and yells for her, "hey Ames!"

"Yeah?"

"For the record, you're never my second choice." 

Without reaction, Amy closes the door. She doesn't understand why he's still playing with her emotions. Has he no decency? She decides to take a bath instead of dealing with the polling numbers Kent sent to her midflight. She cries a little in the bath, thinking about all that's been and all that will never be between them. She concludes the pregnancy hormones must be messing with her mind. 

An hour later he texts her brilliant insight about Kent's polling data. He's always more on his game post-conquest. She decides if his self-medicating with pussy makes him a better strategist, then maybe she can ignore it.

The only libido she should be worried about now is her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awesome beta jenniferandbradley is awesome.


	5. Past and Present Dan- Washington, D.C.

She quite literally ran into him the first time he saw her after Ohio. They were in a coffee shop a block from the Capitol Building and she was staring down at her cell phone when she ran smack into him. Dan recognized the tiny blonde immediately. 

"Whoa, sweetheart, better watch where you're going," he said, giving her a toothy grin.

"Dan Egan," she said with a hint of a aggression, "long time, no… well, anything."

Dan knew that was a dig for basically ghosting on her in Ohio. He should have known Amy was not a woman to forgive and forget. Pretending to ignore the jab, Dan continued, "it's good to see you. I heard you're working for the Veep?" 

"Yep."

"I just started with Senator Hallowes. Maybe we'll be seeing each other more often now?"

"Maybe," she'd replied, barely looking up from her phone. Now Dan was certain she was still pissed. 

At that moment, Jonah Ryan invited himself into their conversation. 

"Wow, Amy, are you slumming it with Dan Egan? You know you can have a West Wing man anytime you'd like."

"Yes, thank you, Jonah, but I think I'd rather cut out my own tongue than date anyone in DC, all present company included."

Dan didn't like her cavalier attitude. He dumped her, well, he'd just left, but either way, she should be acting a little hurt. He should be the smug one. 

"Does that mean some political bad boy broke your heart?" He was trying to make her squirm at this point.

She looked directly into his eyes and replied, "not even close."

He knew he deserved it, but he didn't like it. She’d left them both, dicks in their hands, without another word.  
He honestly thought he’d never hear from her again. The tiny blonde girl he’d remembered had grown into an unfuckwithable woman, Chief of Staff to the Vice President of the United States. At this rate, just as he suspected all those years ago, she was going to take over the goddamn world by 45.   
When she called him to set up the Senator Hallowes meeting he nearly choked on his afternoon coffee. It was a pleasant surprise, though, he’d been considering a move to the executive branch and the Veep’s press team was a fucking joke. He was sure if he could get any facetime with the Vice President that he could convince her of his worth. He was not wrong.   
He flashes back to that memory when Ben tells him about Amy and Leon. They're alone in the office early one morning when, seemingly out of nowhere, Ben says, “I have to tell you something and you're not going to like it."

"Geez, what is it?" Dan asks, nervously assuming Ben's about to fire him.

"Amy and Leon have been seeing each other," Ben doesn't look at him when he speaks. 

"What?" Dan asks as the weight of Ben's words slowly sinks into his brain.

"Don't make me say it again, I didn't want to tell you to begin with. Selina thought you'd prefer to hear it from a man."

"Are they fucking?" He realizes he must be dazed because he never meant to ask the question out loud. 

"How the fuck would I know? They've been to dinner a few times, that's all I can tell you. Don't ask me anything else and you didn't hear it from me, you got it?"

Dan nods his head and continues to stare down at his hands. He walks to the breakroom in a fog and pours himself some coffee. He needs to collect his thoughts. 

Thirty minutes later, Amy walks in and pours herself a glass of water from the sink. He doesn't mean to startle her, she just doesn't see him sitting in the corner drinking his coffee in the dark.

"So, is 'Ms. I hate DC guys' fucking the Beltway Butcher now?" Dan asks from his hidden space in the shadows.

Amy jumps a foot into the air and grabs onto the sink to steady herself, "Jesus Christ, Dan! Creep much?"

She looks at him and the weird scene she's walked in on, "why are you ominously drinking your coffee alone in the dark?"

"I'm trying to recharge in peace," he replies with an exaggerated slurp of his coffee, “now you answer my question."

Amy doesn't like his tone. He sounds like he's trying to sound casual but he's really pissed off.

"Who I fuck is none of your goddamn business," Amy says, trying to match his angry-jesting vibe but leaning more towards angry.

Dan lets out a forced laugh, hops up from his chair, walks over to the sink she's standing in front of, throws his coffee mug in with too much force, and walks out.  
His heart is racing and his hands are shaking as he walks out of the breakroom. He goes into the bathroom thinking a splash of water on his face might help him calm down. He just keeps picturing them together. No one is having better sex than Amy and Leon in his head. He knows he shouldn't be so fucking angry. He has no right to be angry. He had his chance, no, chances, with Amy and he blew them every time. He realizes that he's just angry with himself, which actually makes him angrier. It's over, he tells himself. Amy isn't coming back. His eyes start to fill with tears. He hasn’t cried since he slammed his fingers in the car door when he was 10 years old. 

"Get it together, Iceman," he says out load into the mirror. 

An intern walks in, so Dan splashes water on his face, swallows his feelings, and leaves the bathroom. 

He sits down at his desk and tries to think. If Amy isn't going to be around to help him figure out how to be a father then he's going to have to figure it out for himself. His own father was a heartless bastard before he died, so no help there. He can't tell his brother because he'll tell their mother and he doesn't feel like dealing with her right now. He thinks about the fathers he knows; Ben, who might not even be able to identify his kids in a lineup; Richard, who generally doesn't know his own ass from a hole in the ground; Andrew, who preys on Catherine every chance he gets; Mike… Mike isn't so bad. He loves his kids, even if he can't control them to save his own fucking life. Dan decides to call Mike. 

An hour later Dan finds himself sitting on a filthy sofa, holding a toddler with a dirty diaper at arm’s length while Mike chases the oldest one around the house. This was a fucking mistake. If anything, it's taught him that he hates children more than he'd initially assumed.

"Mike, this one (he can't even remember its name) needs to be changed!"

"Can do," Mike says, grabbing the baby from Dan and whisking it off to its changing table. 

Dan stares around the trashed living room and regrets everything. Just as he starts to mentally calculate when it all went wrong, the oldest one, Ellen, he thinks, walks up to him with a book and says, "Please read, Mr. Dan."

"Ummmm, maybe ask your dad," Dan says, trying to stall for time until Mike gets back.

Ellen, clearly not taking no for an answer, climbs onto his lap and opens the book.

Dan, afraid she might cry or throw a fit or something, starts reading. 

"Daddy does the voices. Do the voices, Mr. Dan," Ellen demands. 

Dan rolls his eyes and does his best Curious George voice. Ellen giggles and points to the words she wants him to say again. When they finish the book, Dan realizes Mike has been standing there the whole time. 

"I better get back to the office," Dan says, lifting Ellen off his lap and rising from the sofa.

As he leaves, Mike calls after him, "hey Dan!"

"Yeah?"

"You're gonna be fine," Mike says with his characteristically dopey grin.

"Thanks, buddy," Dan replies, without his usual sarcasm. 

 

 

The sound of the ceramic mug hitting the sink makes Amy jump. She can't believe what an asshole he is. He can ejaculate indiscriminately into the crowd, but she can't even be seen with another man? That's some toxic masculinity bullshit right there. Fuck him.

When Amy thinks enough time has passed to calm the raging Egan, she leaves the breakroom. Dan is sitting at this desk with his scheming face on. Maybe she's being petty, but she makes it a point to be seen giving Leon a cup of coffee. Dan immediately gets up from his desk and leaves the office. 

Two hours later she gets a text from Mike with the caption: Maybe he's not so bad?

It's a short video of Dan reading to Ellen. He's doing silly voices and smiling every time he makes her giggle. Amy spends the next twenty minutes crying as quietly as possible in a bathroom stall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks going out to jenniferandbradley for the beta!


	6. Candi-coated Leon- Washington DC

Amy isn't fucking Leon. Not that the opportunity hasn't presented itself, just that she can't bring herself to go through with it. Yet. They've only been out a few times and the first time she didn't even realize it was a date until he showed up at her parents’ house with flowers. 

She doesn't hate him as much as she initially assumed she did, but she sees the whole thing as a friendship going nowhere particularly sexy. He is kind and encourages her to talk about herself. Like everyone else on the planet, he has a hard time wrapping his head around her undying dedication to Selina. He thinks she’s good enough to be the candidate and he tells her as much every time he has the chance. It’s a nice ego boost in an otherwise shitty year (years?).

But she isn’t sleeping with him, though, given her raging hormones, she does occasionally consider taking advantage of the available dick. 

Dan obviously doesn't give a fuck about her; he's been escorted out of the office by a different woman every night this week alone. 

He even comes back from lunch sometimes with lipstick on his collar, smelling like sex. If anything, his behavior is worse than ever. 

So, she considers fucking Leon, especially since she knows how much it bothers Dan to learn they've been out together. The thing is, she feels like she's a bit too old to sleep with someone out of spite. 

Dan has all the freedom in the world to continue acting like a child, hell, she gave him the okay to walk away, but she's going to be someone's mother soon and she can't keep pretending she's making choices that will only impact herself. 

Rational Amy wins out most of the time when Dan is being especially dickish. She understands that he's just acting out because someone else has his toy. So she's a little surprised at how visceral her reaction is when Dan nearly cums in his pants at the mention of Candi Caruso. 

During an otherwise run-of-the-mill staff meeting Ben brings up the fact that Candi Caruso is now available for consultations and Dan jumps on that information faster than an invitation to the playboy mansion.

"I'll talk to Candi; she and I have a history," he says, practically giddy, staring directly into Amy’s eyes. 

Kent chimes in, "I hear she's going through a nasty divorce."

"Ooooh! I have just the remedy for that," he's still directing his devious smile at Amy.

She can see it on his face, he's trying to hurt her, he wants her to suffer. She hasn't seen him like this since she wounded his pride after the debacle with her sister. 

With her lips tightly pressed together, she wants to play it cool, act like his insinuated actions don't affect her, and normally she would, but today she can't hide herself. 

With her eyes welling up, she jumps from her chair and runs out of the meeting without a word, making a mad dash for the privacy of the ladies room.

In an unusual turn of events, Dan actually follows her out of the meeting, bouncing in front of her just as she makes it to the bathroom door.

"What's wrong, Angel?" 

"Get the fuck out of my way!"

"Come now, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, Mrs. West."

"I swear to God, I will cock-punch you."

Brushing a deceptively gentle thumb across her cheek, he goes in for the kill, "Don't you wanna know how sweet Candi tastes?"

Swallowing back her sadness, Amy grabs his suit collar with both hands, and leans in for a whisper, "Tonight, when Leon is deep inside me, I'll ask him to describe how sweet I taste."

With that metaphorical dick punch, Amy shoves him out of her way and disappears into the bathroom.  
Dan is long gone when she finally calms down enough to face the office. She assumes he's run off to stick his dick in Candi Caruso. She hates herself for letting him get to her. 

She has another date with Leon that night and for the better part of the afternoon, she seriously considers sealing the deal with him after dinner.

But as the date drags on she realizes she can never go through with it. She isn't Dan (thank God), she has never been able to separate feelings from sex.

Leon seems like a good man, but her feelings, hatred mostly, belong to Dan. She thought she was above it, she truly did, until that afternoon. The way her stomach did a flip when he said he had a history with Candi.

It was irrational, but she wanted to crawl across the table and scream into his face that the only history that mattered was theirs. 

Granted, it wouldn't have done any good, but the impulse was definitely there. She still loves him, and sleeping with Leon will only make a bad situation much worse. 

When Leon goes to kiss her on the doorstep of her parents’ house, she tells him they are going to have to be just friends. He takes it like a man and leaves without a fight. She realizes that’s probably how all adult relationships end. She admits she should probably work on getting one of those.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jenniferandbradley is the best beta to ever beta.


	7. Dan Egan’s Redemption-Washington DC

It's around midnight, 8 months into the campaign, when Dan, Amy, Leon, Ben, Gary and a gaggle of interns find themselves at the main DC office trying to spin Selina's latest screw up. During an interview regarding the pros and cons of requiring citizens to buy health insurance, she offhandedly told a reporter she didn't need a law to know she needs to buy health insurance, with the implication that everyone can just spend hundreds of dollars a year without issue. It made her look elite and out of touch, which she is, but the voters can't know that. Selina left to get some sleep hours ago while her barrel of political monkeys were left at the office, cleaning up the mess.

Without warning, a group of armed men in ski masks charge into the office. They're yelling something about shut up and don't move. Dan can't understand a word of it because his brain is screaming for Amy. Well, that and Gary is literally screaming like someone stepped on one of his testicles. 

Despite their commands, Dan runs across the office and pushes Amy behind himself. For once she doesn't fight his protective stance and Dan can tell she's scared because she's grabbing onto the back of his coat with shaking hands. The men are turning the office upside-down and they're obviously looking for something.

"Get over here, blondie," one of the masked men yells at Amy, "you're going to help me search your bitch boss' office."

"No!" Dan yells without a second thought.

"You wanna die, pretty boy?" The man yells, forcing the gun in Dan's face. In some distance part of his brain Dan hears Amy scream.

"No, no," Dan tries to reason with him, "I'm the PR guy here and I can tell you roughing up a pregnant woman isn't going to play well for you if this goes south. Take me. Look at this face," he says, pointing at himself, “I'm lucky I haven't been shot already." Dan is shaking and he can hear Amy protesting behind him. 

"Fine, let's go," he uses the gun to motion for Dan to get into Selina's office. 

Dan reaches behind him to pry Amy's hands from his suit jacket. He gives her hand a little squeeze to reassure her. He's never felt so helpless in his entire life. He can't even look back at her because he knows he'll lose it. He gives Leon West a look and tilts his head toward Amy to get him to take his place in front of her. Leon complies, and Dan leads the way to Selina's office. Dan stands in a corner while the masked man flips desks and filing cabinets. He can see Leon guarding Amy through a crack in the office door. At least that cocksucker is good for something.

One of the men in the main office yells that they're out of time and just as fast as they entered, they’re gone.  
Dan walks slowly out of Selina's office and slides along the nearest wall like it's the only thing keeping him up. Dan and Amy stare at each other from across the room as the others make frantic 911 calls. All the color is drained from his face and Amy knows that look from London. She tells the room to get an ambulance, he's having a panic attack, as she runs to him as fast as she can manage with the baby weight and heels. He's sinking down the wall to the floor when she gets to him. 

"Dan! Dan, look at me! I'm right here," Amy is screaming and holding his face.

Dan is clutching his chest and mumbling to himself. Amy thinks he's saying her name over and over again. 

"I'm here, Dan! I'm here and I'm fine. Look at me. I need you to breathe!" She says as she attempts to demonstrate her command. 

He finally makes eye contact and starts to mimic her deep breathing. She grabs the hand clutching his chest and holds it in both of her hands while he tries to calm down. By the time the paramedics get to the office, his breathing is stabilizing, and the color is returning to his face. 

"Are you his wife?" The paramedic asks Amy, after checking his vital signs.

"No, we're not...no," Amy doesn't know what to say. 

"We think he'll be fine, but he probably shouldn't be alone tonight."

"Okay, I'll take him home."

Dan and Amy sit in awkward silence during the ride home. Amy drives, and she actually has to ask where he lives. She notes how sad it is that she doesn't know anything about the man who was ready to take a bullet for her without hesitation. The father of her unborn child. Maybe she's been too hard on him. 

It’s nearly 3am by the time they roll up to his brownstone townhouse. She thinks it's odd that he's renting a place this size when his last place was a dumpy crash pad. 

"You wanna come in?" He asks with downcast eyes. She can tell he expects her to tell him to go to hell.

"Okay, sure."

Dan's eyes fly up to meet hers and he smiles for the first time all night. 

"Not for sex. I'm too pregnant to breathe at this point," Amy says, just to clarify. 

"You think my brain stops and starts with my dick, don't you? Can't I just want to be with you?"

"Well, you could, but your brain stops and starts with your dick," Amy jokes. 

Dan rolls his eyes and gets out of the car. He waits for her to walk around the car, so he can walk her up his front steps with a gentle hand on her back. She's moving slowly these days and she has a distinct waddle that makes Dan nervous when she climbs stairs. 

"This is a nice place. I'm not about to meet the wife and kids you've been hiding for years, am I?"

"Look, I'm too tired for your shit. If you're going to be a bitch all night you should just go home now," he sounds exhausted, and Amy feels a pang of guilt for teasing him. 

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'll lay off tonight,” Amy whispers. 

When they finally get into the townhouse all of Amy’s hidden wife concerns vanish because it's painfully obvious a bachelor lives here. It's a good-sized place, but it's bland and messy. 

"I'm going to get something to drink, do you need anything?" He asks as he walks through the living room and dining room into the kitchen on the back end of the house.

"Bathroom?" She asks. 

"Upstairs, second door on the left."

Dan drinks two glasses of scotch at his kitchen sink before he realizes Amy is taking too long. 

"Did you fall in?" He yells, as he climbs the stairs to make sure she's okay. 

He finds her standing in the middle of his spare bedroom; the room he converted into a zoo-themed, sea-green nursery. 

"What is this?" She asks, with a quiver in the voice. She's staring in the direction of the crib on the far wall and she won't turn to face him.

After the night's events, Dan's too tired to give her anything but the truth, "I thought I could convince you to stay with me. You and the baby, of course," he continues after clearing his throat, "When I gave up on that idea, I thought you might at least let it come visit if I had a room ready." 

"Him," Amy whispers. 

"What?"

"It's a boy," Amy says, staring at the ground. 

"Yeah?" Dan replies, and his face looks like it's fighting a smile. 

"Yeah." 

Amy stares at the tiny stuffed lion sitting in the crib. She feels like the biggest asshole on the planet. This whole time she was pushing him away and she can't even remember why. Well, that's not entirely true, she knows exactly why she keeps him at arm’s length, but maybe it's time to look again.

"It was you who told Selina about the baby," Amy speaks her thoughts into the room.

Dan audibly sighs. "I was worried about you and you wouldn't fucking talk to me, so…" Dan tries to explain.

Amy stands silently for a minute until she can gather her thoughts. Does Dan want to be a father to their child? She decides to let him in, "I'd like to name him Joseph, after my grandfather." Amy trips over the next part because she knows his answer could break her heart, "we can call him Joseph Daniel, if you want to?" She finally looks him in the eyes for the first time during the conversation. 

"Hell yes, I want to," Dan says without hesitation, as he marches across the room to cup her face in his hands and kiss her with everything he has to give.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, big thank you going out to beta, jenniferandbradley.


	8. Domestic Bliss-ish - Washington DC

After his unexpected kiss, Dan asks Amy to stay and talk. True to form, he doesn’t really seem interested in discussing anything too sentimental, but he absentmindedly plays with her hair as they talk on his sofa. An hour of casual conversation passes between them, as well as three more scotches down his gullet, before Amy finally decides his eyes look drunk enough to confide in him. 

"I didn't fuck Leon."

 

"I know," Dan says with a nonchalant arrogance that only he can exude. 

 

"How do you know?"

 

"I paid Richard to follow you on your last date. He was in town doing Jonad’s bidding and I figured he’d ask the least amount of questions about trailing you. I'm still shocked he didn't fuck it up."

 

"You did what?"

 

"Don't act all high and mighty, I see the look on your face when I leave the office with other women. You look like I kicked your puppy."

 

"That look is directed at the poor women who don’t realizes they're getting a shithead because it's wrapped up in a pretty package."

 

"Oh, believe you me, I get no complaints about my package," he says, obscenely slurping his drink. 

 

"Gross. I can't believe you were spying on me! If I could lift myself off this sofa, I would storm out."

 

"No you wouldn't. You like it when I'm jealous. Admit it."

 

"Fuck off."

 

"At the very least, you like my package."

 

"That's it, you're clearly better now. I'm leaving," Amy yells, struggling to shimmy herself off the sofa. 

 

"Don't. Stay the night."

 

"No fucking way!"

 

"Why not?" Dan asks like a petulant child.

 

"Because you're being so YOU it's making me more nauseous than I already am normally."

 

"Okay, in the spirit of not being ME, how about you stay in my room and I sleep here," he says, slapping the back of the sofa.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I know you hate staying with your parents."

 

"That’s true,” she says, mostly to herself, “even so, what makes you think I'd jump out of the frying pan and into the fire?"

 

"Well, despite your outward aggression, Ames, I know you're still sweet on me," he says with a wink. 

 

"I'm out," Amy says, frantically wiggling to free herself from the sofa. 

 

Dan puts a hand on her knee, “stop it. I want you to stay, alright? You happy now? Dan Egan needs a woman."

 

"A woman?" Amy teases.

 

"Don't push it, sweetheart."

 

"I mean, you needing ‘a woman’ isn't exactly a revaluation. You pretty much sustain yourself on orgasm-induced endorphins."

 

"You! Okay? I need you! Amy Brookheimer, the chastising harpy of my heart." 

 

"Awww, that was almost sweet."

 

"Almost."

They sit in silence for a few minutes until Amy asks, “so, when was the last time you washed your sheets?"

She stays with him that night and the one after that and the one after that. He begrudgingly upholds their originally agreed upon sexless sleeping arrangement. He doesn't even complain, much.

 

Even if they are just playing house, Amy refuses to believe it could ever be anything more than that with Dan, she’s still surprised by how quickly they fall into a working routine. Maybe it has something to do with Dan not being a total fuckface all the time, but when she’s truly honest with herself, she can see that it’s more than that—Dan Egan is almost being sweet. 

Without warning he places soft, uncertain kisses on her lips mid-conversation, like he's testing his boundaries. When she takes off her heels he comments on the swelling of her feet and offers to rub them for her. And, most shocking of all, he's interested in the baby. He wants to know how it feels squirming around inside her, even though he makes a disgusted face when she describes it. 

He almost jumps out of his skin when they're watching the late night shows, exchanging zingers about the horribleness of the host’s interviewing skills, when her shirt slides up to reveal a movement that resembles an alien trying to escape her body. 

 

"Holy fuck, I can see him!"

 

Moving quickly to cover herself, Amy explains, "yeah, he's kicking the shit out of me. He likes your voice. He goes crazy when you're around. "

 

"Really?" He asks, positively beaming. 

 

"Of course, you'd be delighted to learn someone else in the world loves to hear you talk as much as you do."

 

"My kid obviously has good taste; no surprises there," he proclaims proudly. 

Amy rolls her eyes. 

“Can I feel it?” He nervously asks her. 

“I guess. Do you want to feel it?”

“I guess.”

Amy takes his hand and places it on her stomach where the baby was kicking her. Of course the movement has stopped and Dan looks up at her with questioning eyes. 

“I don’t know what to tell you. He’s unpredictable.”

Dan leans in close to her stomach and introduces himself, “hey there, baby Egan, I’m Dan. I’m your dad. God, that sounds weird to say out loud.”

Before he can continue the baby starts kicking his hand and his eyes go wide and he looks up at Amy for confirmation. 

“I told you he likes your voice. But you are mistaken about him being an Egan.”

“Why not? My brother only has girls. Who will carry on my name?”

“I hope no one.” 

“We’ll see,” he says as he leans up to kiss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, jenniferandbradley, for your beta magic.


	9. The Spa Story- Washington DC

Two weeks after the robbery, information surfaces about Selina’s multiple “spa” visits. The office is abuzz with the usual campaign chaos when Ben screams, “shut up!” He’s staring at one of the office televisions as Selina’s name flashes in huge letters across the screen and the newscaster announces:

 

Earlier today the Washington Post received an anonymous package filled with receipts from president Meyer’s numerous stays at Whispering Sands Wellness Center in Sedona,   
Arizona. These visits seem to date all the way back to her first public loss. The documents seem to suggest Meyer was being treated for several massive nervous breakdowns. 

 

Of course, Dan would pick today to go gallivanting before work. He’d dropped Amy off at the door that morning, speeding off to “handle some business.” Amy briefly considered asking if the business would be taking place in his pants, but didn’t feel up to having a huge fight with him before 8am. As soon as the news flashes across the screen her phone lights up with a text from him that just says, “I’m on it.”

What feels like an hour of stunned silence and television channel flipping takes over the office before Dan bursts through the front door marching toward Leon.

"You son of a bitch, you did this!"

 

"Jesus, what now?" Leon asks with an exhausted expression on his face. 

 

"I thought you were just trying to fuck Amy, but you really wanted to fuck all of us! " 

 

With a hint of desperation in her voice, Selina looks to Ben for clarification, "what’s he talking about?" 

 

"You heard the woman, cough it up, Don Juan," Ben shouts at Dan.

 

Pointing at Leon, Dan screams, “Hunter S. Twatwaffle here set us up!"

 

"Oh, come on," Leon says in his defense. 

 

"You never gave up on the spa story, did you? You wanted to sink Selina all along. You thought you'd get the scoop from Amy, but when she didn't deliver, you hired those thugs to turn the place." 

 

"I don't know what you're talking about."

 

"Oh yes, you do, you motherfucking snake," Dan says, charging at Leon, as Ben tries to hold him back.

 

Kent, clearly mulling over the accusation, speaks his thoughts into the room, "the story was leaked to Leon’s Washington Post."

 

"He was extremely interested in my past with Selina," Amy says out loud, clearly lost in her own sea of thoughts. 

 

"My guy at the Post says ole’ Leon here accidently left one of his personal receipts in the package he mailed to the Post,” Dan says, showing the room an image of the receipt sent to him from his source. 

“Christ,” Ben says.

“This certainly puts Mike McLintock’s journal screw-up in perspective,” Kent adds.

“At least Mike never tried to have us killed,” Amy says, visibly turning white. 

 

"Aright, fine,” Leon admits his guilt, “you’re right, I did it,” he says, pointing at Selina, “but that woman is a monster and has no business holding office. "

“How dare you?!” Gary screams lunging at Leon. He’s only restrained when Kent grabs the back of his jacket, leaving just his arms flailing in Leon’s direction. 

 

"Goddamn, Leon, those guys came in here armed to the fucking teeth. What the hell were you thinking? Do you really hate me that much?" Selina asks. 

“Yes!” Leon screams, “you left me for dead for a fucking photo opt in Iran!”

“We did do that,” Kent deadpans.

 

"They went after Amy" Dan screams as he hurls a punch, past Ben, that lands squarely on Leon's jaw. 

 

In the middle of the yelling and the mayhem of Ben holding Dan back and Kent holding Gary, Amy moans in pain and curls in on herself at the waist. 

 

"Now? Really?" Selina asks looking to Gary, who rolls his eyes at Amy's inconsiderate timing.

 

"I think my water just broke," Amy declares with a steely calm that does not match her wide, panicked eyes. Dan runs to Amy’s side and places a hand on her back. 

“What do I do? What do I do?” He asks her twice in a hysterical panic. 

“Call my mother, she’s the birthing partner. Get me to the hospital. You know, the obvious shit.”

“Right! I’ll call a cab.”

“Why the fuck would you call a cab, nitwit, we have a goddamn secret service escort outside,” Ben chastises Dan.

“Right!”

“We all might as well go,” Selina chimes in, “We still have to deal with this spa story. Also, will someone get this Bob Woodward wannabe out of my office. Leon, it was our displeasure knowing you, I will be pressing charges.” 

Dan helps Amy into one of the SUVs and Selina, Gary and Kent jump in behind them. When the driver asks what hospital, Dan can’t remember the name, and when he tries to text her mother he fumbles to find her number in Amy’s cell phone, dropping it twice.

“Boy, you’re nearly useless in a crisis,” Amy points out, her tone full of annoyance. 

“Why did you make Dan campaign manager over Amy again?” Kent asks Selina.

“Excellent question,” Amy grunts out between her clenched teeth.

“Maybe you shouldn’t talk now, sweetie,” Gary says leaning over Dan to grab Amy’s shoulder.

“FUCK OFF, GARY!” Amy and Dan scream in unison. 

Their eyes meet for the first time since her water broke and Dan can tell she’s afraid. He can count the number of times he’s seen her afraid, really, legitimately afraid, on one hand and he hates that look. He realizes, just as he did during the break-in, he needs to be the one to keep it together. He figures only one of them is allowed to freak out during any given situation and Amy’s the one who’s about to squeeze a person out, so he’s up. 

Grabbing her hand to get her attention, Dan whispers in her ear, “listen to me. You can do this. I’ve seen you castrate a room full of dicks with just one look. You are a fucking hurricane and this is just a passing storm. Yeah?”

Amy takes a deep breath and agrees with him, “yeah.” 

“Your parents will probably beat us to the hospital and I’m going to wait in the waiting room until it’s done, okay?”

“Yeah.” 

Dan uses his thumb to wipe away the tears that have fallen from Amy’s eyes due to pain. It’s so tender and unexpected and Amy can’t help but wonder what their lives might have been like if he wasn’t such a shit all the time. The thought quickly dissipates with her next wave of contractions. 

Dan was right, her parents beat them to the hospital. Amy’s dad gives him a dirty look and Amy’s mom pinches his cheek and tells him she’ll take care of her and then Amy is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jenniferandbradley is the beta queen.


	10. Labor Pains--George Washington University Hospital, Washington DC

The entire campaign office is camped out in the waiting room for half the day, discussing media responses and recovery strategies, before anyone bothers to give Dan an update. He’s pacing around the room when a doctor finally approaches Ben. 

"Are you the father?" 

"God, I hope not. Him," Ben says pointing at Dan.

"Is it done? I mean… with the baby… is it done?" Dan stammers. 

"Not quite yet. There have been some complications, but your wife and the baby are stable."

"Wife," Selina chuckles to herself. 

"Something's wrong with Amy?"

A nurse interrupts their conversation and the doctor excuses himself to deal with the issue. 

Dan is absolutely terrified. He never even considered "complications". What the fuck does that even mean? Babies are born every damn minute, why is something wrong with Amy?

After a few minutes of everyone staring at each other in disbelief, in a racing heart and trembling hands, he decides to go looking for the doctor. Instead, he finds Sophie hooked up to a needle that is pumping her blood into a machine. 

"Douchey Dan Egan! What brings you to this complete and total lack of a party?"

"Ah, well, I hear they have good coffee, also, your sister is having my baby."

"Are you sure it's yours? I thought she was fucking that ugly writer, Lebo, or something."

"It's mine. What the hell is going on with Amy? The doctor said something about complications and then ran off."

"Oh, she's just lost some blood. I'm filling her back up. You know Amy, always making everything about her. So, you wanna grab a bite to eat after this?"

"What? No! Amy and I are together."

"So what? You were basically together before."

"No… not like we are… it's different now, okay?"

"Holy shit, you’re in love with her!” Sophie screams and starts laughing like a hyena, “does she know?"

Dan audibly sighs, and squeezes the bridge of this nose to relief his growing headache, "tell me something, Sophie, is there a universe in which you would mind your own damn business?"

"Nope!"

"Great. I'm going back to the waiting room."

Hours pass and Dan is sitting with his head between his knees when someone gently touches the back of his shoulder.

“Dan, sweetie,” Amy’s mom says, “are you okay?”

Jumping out of his chair, a ball of nervous energy, Dan asks, “what’s going on? Is Amy alright?”

Amy’s mother smiles sweetly at him, “Amy is fine. You have a beautiful baby boy.” 

The waiting room lights up with cheering and laughter. Gary awkwardly tries to hug Selina.

“Yeah?” Dan asks with a smile across his face.

“Yes. Amy’s father, Sophie, and I have all seen him and we’re going to go home and get some rest. Go on back, she’s asking for you.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

"Are you okay?" Dan asks from the safety of the doorway.

"Yeah, I'm just worn-out," Amy replies without looking up from the bundle in her arms.

"They said you had… complications," Dan states, still afraid to move closer.

"I lost more blood than normal and had to have a transfusion," Amy looks up and realizes from the look on Dan's face that he's waiting for her to tell him everything is fine before he'll get any closer.

"I'm okay, Dan. Really. You wanna see him?"

"Oh, yeah, of course," he says like he forgot why they were there.

Amy hands Dan the baby and his eyes go wide, "holy shit, he looks just like me."

"Yep," Amy says, clearly annoyed, now closing her eyes and resting her head against her pillow. 

Dan starts laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"You did this.”

“Did what?”

“My genetic line way just gonna die out, but you went and birthed my replica."

Amy gives him the finger.

Dan takes a seat and rests the baby on his knees to get a good look at him, “what’s up, pumpkin? So you're Joseph, huh? Welcome to this shitshow we call life. Luckily, you are devastatingly handsome and that will take you far."

Amy opens her eyes just to roll them.

Dan's quiet for a long time and Amy almost drifts off to sleep when he says, "we did good, Ames."

"We? I did good. You didn't do shit."

"Fine. YOU did good." 

Gary interrupts them when he enters the room screaming, "congratulations," carrying an absurdly large bundle of balloons.

Selina, who is struggling to push her way through the balloons while still staring down at her cell phone, gasps at the sight of the baby now in Dan's arms.

"Jesus-fucking-Christ there are two of them," she screams as Gary uncomfortably attempts to hold his smile.

"How are you feeling, Amy? I heard you had a rough go of it," Selina asks still staring at the baby.

"Yes, Ma’am, I lost a lot of bl--"

"--it's fucking uncanny," Selina cuts her off, “he looks just like you, smug eyebrows and all!"

"I know, right?" Dan says proudly. 

"The girls and little Richard send their love. Catherine watched a documentary about hospitals being germ factories, or some shit, and now they refuse to step foot in one. Last month, they started holding anti-vaccine meetings in the living room; their brownstone is like grand central station for the scientifically illiterate. I've decided to stop visiting all together. "

"That's probably for the best, Ma'am," Amy responds. 

"Well, we better get going, my turd of a campaign isn't going to flush itself."

Ben and Kent file in next. Taking one look at Joseph, Ben shouts, "yowzah! No question about that kid's paternity."

"I told you," Kent whispers to Ben, "the timing was all wrong for a Calhoun baby."

Overhearing Kent's comment, Amy asks the most unreasonable question she can conjure without ever opening her eyes, "Kent, are you tracking my ovulation cycles?" 

"I track all the women I work with. It's useful data, Amy."

"Nope, it's creepy, stop doing that."

Ben interrupts, "Oh, by the way, you're both fired."

"What?" Dan and Amy scream in harmony. 

"Sorry, ladyboss' orders. You let your drama into the office and that was a no-no." 

Dan and Amy stare at each other in dumbfounded silence. 

Ben and Kent, having seen enough with just the one glance, leave the room and can still be heard arguing amongst themselves from the hallway.

"Amy's right, tracking ovulation cycles is some next-level serial killer shit."

"How will we know the optimal time to restock the office chocolate supply!?"

"What the hell are we going to do?" Dan asks Amy.

“I don’t fucking know, why do I always have to be the one who comes up with the plan? For fucksake, I just pushed a human being out of my vagina, the least you can do it try to solve this problem.”

“You hear that, Joseph, mommy has anger issues. I just ignore her most of the time. You’ll learn.”

“Are you going to talk to me through the baby for the rest of our lives?”

“Yeah.”

Their fight is interrupted by Mike, Wendy, and their merry band of munchkins. 

“It’s as I feared, a mini Dan,” Mike declares, dropping a fruit basket off on one of the countertops, “can I hold him?”

“Are you gonna drop him?” Dan asks.

“Please, Dan, I have my own kids,” he boldly announces at the same time two of his children pull the fruit basket off the counter, spilling its contents all over the room. 

Mike shows Wendy the baby, now cradled in his arms, “look at all those freckles,” she says. 

“I’m looking at those eyebrows,” Mike comments, “oh, by the way, Amy, Sue texted me and said to tell you congratulations and you owe her a hundred dollars."

"Why do you owe Sue a hundred dollars?" Dan asks.

Amy shrugs her shoulders and makes an ‘I don't fucking know’ face.

“She said the day Dan started working for Selina she bet you $100 that you two would end up together.” 

"Oh, we're not together," Amy says matter-of-factly.

"Oh really? How do you figure?" Dan asks, clearly insulted. 

"Well, just yesterday a woman called the office asking for 'her Dan-Dan.' So, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no, we're not really together." 

"Interesting. Tell me, Ames, why didn't I get that message?"

"Because I told her you were dead and I hung up on her."

"First of all, that's some cool shit; one has to wonder what you'd have done if we were together. Second, and not that it matters, apparently, but that woman lives in New York and I haven't banged her in over a year."

"I don't own your dick! Put it wherever you'd like. "

"Oh, I plan to."

"Fine. Good. Whatever."

"Ah, well, we're gonna go now,” Wendy awkwardly interjects, “good luck with all of this, though."

Mike hands the baby to a nurse as he collects his children and prepares to leave. From the doorway, he points at both of them and makes a heart shape with his hands. They both flip him off. 

A nurse offers to take Joseph to the nursery, so Amy can get some sleep, and Dan decides to get some coffee from the vending machines while she rests.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Buddy Calhoun cuts him off in the hospital hallway.

"Danny Egan? What a pleasant surprise!"

It takes Dan a minute to recognize the legendary desert disaster standing before him. 

"Buddy Calhoun! What are you doing on this side of the Mississippi?"

"Well, I heard Amy Brookheimer had a baby. I came as fast as my legs would carry me. I don't understand why she'd be so cruel as to make me miss this occasion—”  
Dan's only half-listening but from what he can understand of the slack-jawed yokal's mumbling, this poor coyote-fucker thinks Amy's baby is his. Now, he can do the mature thing and tell this moron to go fuck himself or he can show him why he should go fuck himself. Out of spite, Dan opts for the show rather than the tell method. 

He walks him to the nursery display window and points out his baby.

"There he is, third one from the right, Joseph DANIEL Brookheimer EGAN. He's a handsome little devil, isn't he?" 

Dan watches with a devious ear-to-ear smile as Buddy's head frantically bobs between him and his baby. Even if Dan hadn't declared his son's name, the resemblance is striking. 

"You?" It's the only thing Buddy can manage to say.

"Yep." 

"Why?" Buddy asks in utter disbelief. 

"Well, I don't know much about the situation, but as an outsider, I'd say it's probably because unlike you—who couldn't hit the broad side of a cliterous if someone pointed it out— I know how to satisfy her." 

After a minute, Buddy mumbles, more to himself than to Dan, "you won't make her happy." 

Dan's legitimately surprised this lamb has some teeth. He briefly considers knocking them out. He decides to take the relatively higher road, "oh, Buddy, Buddy, Buddy, happiness is for saps and the overly medicated, I can make her feel alive. If you knew her even half as well as I do, you'd know which she'd prefer. Now get the fuck out of here."

Dan runs back to Amy’s room, eager to tell her about his surprise encounter.  
"Ames, you are never gonna believe who I just ran into in the hallw--"

Dan is silenced by the presence of Jonah, Richard and Teddy in Amy's room.

"What's shaking, Daddy dickhead?" Jonah greets him with a shit-eating grin. 

“Your brain when your mother dropped you, undoubtedly,” Dan retorts. 

"Congratulations, Dan!" Richard screams as he shoves a giant teddy bear into his arms. 

“Thanks, Richard.”

"Danny Egan! How's television’s hottest host?" Teddy meets him with his hand outstretched.

"Whoa there, Polanski, I wouldn’t shake your testicles-fondling hand if you paid me. What the fuck are you all doing here? What the fuck is going on here?"

“I’m here to offer Amy a job,” Jonah says beaming. 

"Ah, well, you can obviously go fuck yourself. And don’t ever again bring Woody-grabbing-Allen near my kid or my… Amy."

"Smooth, Dan", Amy responds, "yes, Jonah, I'll take the job"

"What?!” Dan and Jonah both yell.

“We’re gonna need the money, Dan. Selina is probably toast now anyway because of this spa story. I think I can win this thing. Yes, I’ll be your campaign manager, Jonah.”

“I thought you liked me as your campaign manager?” Dan asks Jonah in a mildly whiny tone. 

“I did, Dan, but I think we need a woman’s touch.”

“Yeah, I bet,” Dan says under his breath.

“We’re bleeding middle-class white women faster than a Charles Manson cult,” Teddy clarifies.

“No shit,” Dan woodenly responds.

“I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain to you losers why that’s happening, but I can fix it. I’ll be your inside outsider or whatever the fuck your slogan is now. Just fuck off so I can rest,” Amy dismisses the crew and Dan gives them a dirty look as they leave.

Dan sits in the corner of the room while Amy closes her eyes again. After a few minutes of silence he asks, “are you really gonna work for Jonah?”

“Yes,” Amy responds without opening her eyes.

“What about the baby?”

“Daycare is a thing, Dan.”

"Or I could stay home and take care of Joseph until I find something. I kinda like the idea of being a kept husband," Dan proclaims with wiggling eyebrows.

"First of all, you aren't my husband. So the only thing keeping you will be your right hand. Second, are you sure you won't kill him?"

"My brother has kids, I generally know how to keep them alive."

"Wow, set that bar high then.”

“We’ll be fine. I think."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta credit and gratitude going out to the lovely jenniferandbradley!


	11. Home- Washington DC

Amy pulls up to their townhouse after a week on the campaign trail. It is THEIR place now. God, so much has changed since that night in Iowa. Of course, aside from insisting the baby have his last name, Dan hasn't made any moves to suggest he'd like their arrangement to be permanent. Regardless, Amy realizes Dan is who he is and she intends to enjoy the good moments while they last. 

Amy finds Dan asleep on the sofa with Joseph asleep on his chest. She notices the streaks of grey in his hair and admits, if only to herself, that he's aged well. She remembers the first time she saw him, a sharp-dressed, fast-talking tall glass of fucking trouble. She snaps a picture of them with her phone. Dan stirs and when he sees her standing over him he smiles all teeth and charm.

"You're home."

"I'm home."

"We should put little man to bed,” he whispers, as he slowly sits up with the baby. 

She follows him up the stairs to Joseph's room, and when he's placed the baby in the crib, Amy walks up to him and hugs his back with all her might.

"Whoa. You miss me that much, angel?" He asks, laughing. 

Amy doesn't say anything, but after a moment she feels him relax and release his weight against her. She did miss him, she thinks she's missed him every day since the moment they met. Why can't they ever just get on the same page? 

Before she has a chance to follow that thought, Dan turns to face her, still wrapped in her arms. He leans down and gently grabs her face. He places chaste little kisses all over her cheeks and then kisses her. It's sweet, tentative at first, and builds until they're both gasping for air. Every nerve in her body is standing on end when they finally break the kiss to breathe properly. He wants her just as much as she wants him, she can feel it.

"Let's go to bed."

"Together?" He asks, confirming the plan he's too thrilled to wish for.

"Yes, I think I'm ready to share your bed with you," Amy jokes.

"You're a fucking saint."

"Not when I'm with you," Amy answers. 

"Fucking A!"

He picks her up and heads toward their bedroom. Amy kisses his face and neck as he carries her down the hall. Once in the room, he gently places her feet back on the ground and quietly closes the door behind them. 

"We need to keep this down or we're going to wake little man," Dan whispers as they both frantically pull their own clothes off, "he didn't get his nap today, so if he wakes up he'll be a monster."

"Boy, three months and you've really got this 1950's housewife shit down,” Amy teases, tossing her panties and unhooking her bra. 

Completely naked now, Dan stalks toward her with predatory eyes, "how about you cum all over my face like a real breadwinner," he says as he backs her up to the bed and gently pushes her until she plops onto the mattress. 

Before Amy has another thought he's already on his knees spreading her open. When he slowly drags his tongue along her folds she screams out, "fuck me!"

"I'm getting to it, sweetie," he says, smiling up at her from between her legs, "also, shhhhhh," he reaches up to cover her mouth with his hand.

He likes the sound of her muffled moans behind his hand and the feeling of her frantically gripping his hair. He thinks he loves them, in fact. As much as he tries to deny it to himself, love is the only way to describe the way he's always felt when they're together like this. He doesn't feel like this with other women. He wonders how to tell her without giving her the upper hand. 

Her jaw falls open as she climaxes, and his hand moves to cradle the side of her face. She turns to kiss his palm when she's finished riding out the wave. He crawls up the bed to lay beside her and watch her recover.

"How's that for a Stepford wife?" He asks as he leisurely runs his fingers along her body.

"Goddamn, you are so full of yourself," Amy says, trying to regain her composure. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we both know you wanna be full of me too," he brags as he lightly brushes a finger between her legs. "You nervous? First time after the baby."

"How do you know it's the first time?"

"Please. My competition is Richard, Teddy or Jonah. I'm not worried. "

"I interact with other men, you know."

"Sure you do."

"Cocky shithead."

"We both know there's never really been anyone else," he clears his throat, "for either of us."

Taken aback by his implied confession, Amy reaches up to pull his mouth to hers. He tastes so familiar and she finds herself lamenting all the moments that don’t involve his mouth connected to hers. She pulls away to answer his question.

“No, I’m not nervous. Just mind the nipples, they’re always sensitive now.”  
“Copy that.”

Amy bites down on her lip as he kisses the side of her neck and slides one, then two fingers inside her, "please," she begs him to give her more.

"Please what? Use your words, darling," he says, taunting her with a smile. 

Amy decides that two can play his teasing game and reaches down to take hold of him. She only removes her hand to dramatically lick it before continuing to pump him. She hears his breath hitch and the sound gives her a sinking sensation deep in her stomach.

Dan, obviously trying to play it cool, bites his own cheek and squeezes his eyes shut, as she gradually quickens her pace. She likes to watch him come undone. She thinks lust is probably as close to love as he gets. She wonders if he lets other women take him in hand the way he lets her. She quickly decides she'd rather not know. 

He opens his eyes, leans closer to her ear and whispers, "roll over on your stomach for me." She must want him as badly as he wants her because she rolls without a fight. 

She hears him start to rummage through the nightstand for a condom while she waits for him on her stomach. 

"We don't need that, I went back on the pill after Joseph was born."

"Oh really?! I knew you still wanted me!"

"For Christ's sake, just shut up and fuck me already!"

He climbs onto her back and brushes her hair to the side so he can kiss her neck. His body completely covers her as he moves to slide himself into her from behind. When she makes the sound he's looking for, he entwines both of his hands with hers to stabilize himself as he slowly slides in and out of her. He knows when he's hitting exactly the right spot because she starts to moan with every thrust. He knows Amy doesn't make a sound until she absolutely can't help herself. 

Without breaking the connection, he lifts her until they are both on their knees, his body encircling hers from behind. He wraps his arms around her chest and stomach, careful to avoid her painful nipples as requested, to steady them as he slowly rocks back and forth inside of her. 

Amy catches her own eyes in the mirror above the dresser next to the bed. Seeing Dan wrapped around her, holding her up even, sends chills down her spine. When Dan looks up and realizes Amy is watching them in the mirror he smirks at her. They both know they've been here before, in another lifetime it seems, and everything and nothing has changed.

He growls in her ear, "say you're mine."

"You're mine,” she forces out with a devilish smile across her lips, still watching them in the mirror. Even in the throes of passion she can't stop herself from being a smart-ass.

He bites her shoulder in retaliation and thrusts into her faster and harder than before.  
When she turns her head back to kiss him, they lock eyes and he doesn’t move to conceal himself. If anything, he holds the contact longer, determination and passion on his face, as if he has something to prove. He slowly slides a hand between her legs.

"I'm yours, oh god, Dan, I'm yours," Amy whimpers as she clenches down around him. Her orgasm sends him over the edge too and he groans her name into the back of her neck. 

They collapse onto the bed in a mangled heap and Dan rolls to his back while she remains on her stomach, facing away from him. He stares at the ceiling in silence, wondering what she's thinking. It seems like every time they cum they have to start all over again from square one. He just wants to say something that will stop them from running from this again. He thinks maybe, for once, he should try to be honest about how he feels about her when he isn't still inside of her. He's surprised to realize Selina was probably right, he needs to start acting like a grown-ass man.

"I loved you then, you know," he whispers into the dark room. 

"What?" She asks into the pillow. 

"All those years ago, in Ohio, when I left the campaign — I loved you. But I didn't know what to do with us then, how to fit us into my grand life plan, I just wanted it to stop," he confesses. 

Amy sits with that for a few minutes before asking, "did it work?" Her tone is edgier than she would have liked, but she's sick of the excuses emotionally stunted men give women after deliberately screwing them over.

"What do you fucking think?" He bellows, gesturing to the bedroom they now share. "You know, it's just fucking like you to start a fight with me when I'm trying to bear my soul,” he continues, sulking.

Amy turns her head to look at him, a little smile on her face, "I'm sorry. Please continue."

Huffing in annoyance, he goes on, still staring at the ceiling, "I'm trying to tell you that I love you. No, even better than that, I NEED you. And I want to try and make this work… if you could stop busting my balls for five fucking minutes.” 

"Unlikely," she jokes.

"Okay, fucking fine, goodnight," he says, turning away from her.

She grabs him from behind, tucking an arm under his to grab this chest and pressing their naked bodies together. She whispers into his ear, "I'm kidding. You know I'm kidding. I'm yours, Dan. You know that. I've known it since the moment you sang to me in that shitty bar in Ohio. I love you, you stupid asshole, and I need you, too."

"Is that so?" He jests, reaching an arm behind to tickle her side. She screech-laughs and he rolls until he's straddling her with her arms pinned above her head. 

"If you love me so much, why don't you just marry me?" He says, in sing-song, joking tone.

Amy goes completely still, and her face tightens in confusion and anger, "are you fucking shitting me right now? Did you just joke about proposing to me or are you serious about it but too stupid to realize how not funny I find the subject?"

Dan releases her arms and sits back on his haunches, "for fucksake, Amy, you know I'm not good at this lovey-dovey horseshit. I've never proposed with the intention of going through with it before."

"Oh, well, be still my heart!" Amy screams in his face.

Right on cue they hear the baby start to cry through the baby monitor. 

"Get off me, I have to go feed your son," Amy says, shoving him off her as she climbs out of their bed.

Dan plops onto the mattress and groans, "God, I love how you say 'your son' so it sounds like 'go fuck yourself.'"

"You know what, Danny? You can go fuck yourself. You get your dick wet once and suddenly you're willing to settle for me. Next time maybe let the sex smell dissipate before you let your animal brain speak." 

Amy throws on a robe and heads for the miniature version of this giant pain in her ass.

A few minutes later, after he's found some sweatpants to throw on and chase her down in, he watches her from the doorway of Joey's room. She's breastfeeding him as she peacefully slides back and forth on the glide rocker. He loves to watch Amy watch Joey eat. She looks content, and God knows he doesn't get to see her satisfied often.

He takes a deep breath, crosses the room without a word, bends down on one knee in front of the rocking chair, and pulls out a beautiful diamond ring.

"Amy Brookheimer, I need you. I want to fight with you until one of us dies. Will you please marry me?"

Amy tries to fight back a smile, she can't believe he had the forethought to buy a ring. She says the only thing her shocked mind will let her say, "yeah, okay."

Dan puts the ring on her hand and leans up to kiss her, trying not to disturb his hungry baby.

"How long have you had this thing?" Amy asks, admiring the ring.

"Since the morning you went into labor."

"That's why you were late to the office that morning?"

"Yep."

"So you're actually serious about us then? You aren't proposing because of some misguided post-coitus high?"

"Only you would ask me how serious I am about us while you feed my clone with your body. For the last time, I love you. And you just said you love me. So, we can fight it, we can deny it, we can run from it, but it's always going to be true. We are a team, Butch and Sundance, remember?"

“Yeah, I remember," she says with a coy smile. She looks down at their son who is now milk-drunk, sucking his thumb with one hand and running his tiny fingers through her hair with the other.

"Alright, partner, your carbon copy here needs a new diaper. I guess you aren't the only one in the room who is completely full of shit." She winks at him and he knows he's got her.

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A heartfelt thank you to my beta, jenniferandbradley, who spent countless hours editing this story. And thank you to all the readers who have been kind enough to comment and follow along.


End file.
